EXPLORE magazine

Featured Articles

Art Of – Protection

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September 7, 2017

For Kirsten Cohoon, currently the City Attorney for Boerne, this community means a lot to her. With deep roots going…

History – Gone, But Not Forgotten

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September 7, 2017

Like most grown people not only living in the world today but all down through history, I am nostalgic for…

Spiritual – Hell

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September 7, 2017

Sometimes I struggle with the concept of hell. As in, a place of eternal suffering with a lake of fire…

From the Publisher – September 2017

Much like you, I look at pictures of myself frequently and grimace. The scars. The wrinkles. The shadows. The greying hair. I’ve got my battle wounds and until you stop and look at them (via pictures), you don’t really remember that they’re there. My Publisher photos don’t help. High-quality, highly detailed pictures of myself that…

Publisher’s Letter – August 2017

I spent the better part of my formative years growing up in Boerne. It was a cool time to grow up in Boerne, as it afforded me the opportunity to experience a lot of things here that the current kids probably don’t get to do. Riding a horse around town, no traffic, and skipping rocks…

Chronicles – Chairs

In these times, chairs seem to be invisible. They often sit alone and forgotten in a corner. People pass them by, and move them out of the way, like the inconvenient homeless person who sleeps on a bench – which is itself just a big chair. They pull them up and sit on them as…

Spiritual – April 2017

I remember my first panic attack like it was yesterday. I was under a ridiculous amount of stress and pressure both professionally and personally, but I had never experienced anything I would call anxiety at other points in my life, so I simply assumed that I would somehow muscle my way through this situation as…

Art of Transition – Hunter Beaton

The Art of Transition Hunter Beaton is not your stereotypical 16 year old teenager at Boerne High School, obsessed with cars, girls, and counting the seconds until he can leave town for college. Instead, he’s a thoughtful, compassionate and focused young man that has some pretty high aspirations…for himself and others. Upon first…

Spiritual – March 2017

I’ve had the flu for the past week, and let me tell ya, it’s not a bit of fun. Day after day of fevers, chills, aches, pains, and general misery. It’s been barely sleeping at night, and then wanting to sleep all day. One minute you might feel a little better, and then the next…

Publisher’s Letter – March 2017

Dearest EXPLORE reader, I write these little letters that 5 or 6 people read each month (my Mom included) and they don’t cover anything of any particular interest to folks. They’re just essays brought forth from my miniscule brain and put to paper. But they make me happy, so they’re important to me. I…

Save the Cibolo!

Can We Save Our Cibolo? Imagine a day when our Cibolo Creek is no longer a place where children can play, and its banks are lined with signs warning against fishing. Imagine a silent Cibolo, for when the crawdads, minnows and tiny creatures disappear, so do the fish, and birds. Gone are the playful…

Boerne Professional Artists

EXPLORE MAGAZINE: March 2017 Sue Talford – Boerne Performing Arts – 830.238.4842 What is Bollywood you ask? Coined by a journalist in the 1970’s, this term refers to the film industry based in the city of Mumbai, India, which used to be called Bombay. Bombay + Hollywood = Bollywood! Quick facts: India…

Outdoors – Blood

My grandmother was from “the old country.” She grew up on a farm in the foot-hills of the mountains of central Italy about an hour drive from Rome. She grew her own vegetables and baked her own bread, and made her own wine in the basement of her home that my father built for her,…

Spiritual – Save Me From Me

I’m angry. And I want justice. Pretty simple emotions, huh? I’m fairly certain that every last one of us has walked away from a situation simply seething with a clenched-jaw as we prayed for some form of justice, even if we weren’t there to witness our justice being realized. We wanted our boss to get…

Ask Old Timer

Sometimes I just drive around town and mutter questions at myself. Why are they doing that? Who the hell thought up this brilliant idea? Have we fully become Stone Oak yet? Regardless, I just make observations and either chuckle to myself at the craziness of it all, or shake my head in frustration. Sometimes I…

Spiritual – Jan 17 – Finding God

One of the most universal struggles for Christ followers throughout time has been that of feeling distant from God. We go to church and clap our hands while thinking about mowing the lawn later. We pray with our kids while thinking about the dishes. We wake up, work, and then go to sleep and realize…

Spiritual – Dec 2016

So I’m not getting any younger. I asked my grandfather one time what it feels like to be 84, and he said that his mind tells him that he’s still 18. His body, however, tells him differently. And that just fascinated me at the time because I was probably 18 when I asked him…

Old Timer – Dec 2016

Old Timer, doing any deer hunting this season? Got any great hunting secrets you’d care to share? When I was a kid, you grabbed your hunting rifle in the pre-dawn light, went out by your favorite field, laid in the grass while temps were in the 20s, and tried like hell to be still and…

From the Publisher – September 2017

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September 7, 2017

Much like you, I look at pictures of myself frequently and grimace.

The scars. The wrinkles. The shadows. The greying hair. I’ve got my battle wounds and until you stop and look at them (via pictures), you don’t really remember that they’re there.

My Publisher photos don’t help. High-quality, highly detailed pictures of myself that Ben (our graphic designer and photographer) likes to make as big as possible and I just look at them and sigh deeply. I’m so much “younger” in appearance in my mind, and to see the reality of my appearance can be…well…depressing.

I don’t think I’ve ever told this story to you before, but my right eye droops a fair amount. It’s not because of age, it’s because the entire right side of my face is titanium. Seriously. As I have chronicled in these letters, I used to race motorcycles as a kid, and I bought one with my brother in college. I bought it on a Saturday, and by Sunday afternoon I was in the ER. I was fully protected (helmet, pads, etc) but sure enough, I can remember flying through the air just before impact I can remember thinking “This is probably going to hurt.” The next thing I remember was the ER folks cutting my clothes off. From there, I remember a bright blue light above my eyes and a booming voice that said “Don’t MOVE.” I was in an MRI machine as they were searching for brain damage on me and the machine operator was telling me to hold still.

In the months that followed, I ultimately had to have reconstructive face surgery that included a metal cheekbone and an eye socket that had to be rebuilt. It was pretty intense and my kids think it’s super cool that you can feel screws in my eyebrows. When I was in my 20s, you couldn’t tell that the work had been done and most people said “REALLY?” when I would explain what my face had experienced. As I have aged, the damage is beginning to show itself. I figure by the time I’m 80 the whole right side of my face will droop and, well, I’ll have a cool story to tell I guess to all my old cronie friends down at the Duck. And no, I don’t set off the metal detectors.

I also have dark eyes. This isn’t unique to me, because who doesn’t complain about the bags under the eyes, but I have them and they irritate me just as yours irritate you. Middle age and stress has brought me sleepless nights, and they happen way more than I’d prefer. Don’t we all hate it when your friend walks up to you and says “Man, you look tired!”? You want to throttle them and say “That’s because I am, jerk.” I am stressed, I don’t sleep enough, I have 1000 things I’m trying to do, and yeah…it gives me dark rings under my eyes. It happens. Just the same as for you.

Scars. Dark circles. Laugh lines. Wrinkled foreheads. I suppose I’m just getting a perspective for what these things really mean, and how to handle them. I stare at my own photos of late and scratch my chin as I wonder who this rough looking middle-aged man actually is. Because it’s not me.

I’m 26 in my mind, and behave as such. Sure, I’m wiser, but I also catch myself playing basketball with my 11 year old with an abandon that middle aged men surely should not exhibit. I still ride motorcycles (much to my mother’s shagrin). I’m still climbing those trees, jumping in the surf, and cannon-balling into the pool with the best of them.

But I’m “middle aged”, dammit. Shouldn’t I tone it down a little and grab an iced tea and watch from the patio while the youngsters engage in such shenanigans?

Perhaps.

But here’s the thing that I’m learning: my scars, my wrinkles, the screws in my eye socket that kids like to feel…well, those are nothing but evidence of LIFE. And boy have I had some adventures in this life. I don’t like to look at my drooping face, but I can sort of chuckle about the entire story with my brother and my misadventures with motorcycles. The lines in my forehead trouble me, but they’re evidence of thought, and learning, and struggle. My laugh lines are just that: remnants of laughter. The bags under my eyes, while annoying, simply mean that I have things to worry about…and if you have things to worry about, you probably have more than some that have nothing. So I guess I’ll take it. Give me “worry” as opposed to giving me nothing.

I’m not getting any younger, and neither are you. My late friend Bill Zaner used to tell me all the time, “I don’t need a good memory – I have a great imagination!” and it’s so very very true. I can choose to remember the pain, the struggles, the heartaches and all of the things that led me to my current wrinkled-but-not-yet-broken state of appearance. I can choose to moan about my wrinkles and drooping eyes and grumble about my inability to keep up with my 11 year old playing basketball. OR I could choose to wear my scars and wrinkles like a badge of honor and remember that some people don’t get the privilege of aging. Let us all remember those that don’t see their 20th birthday, or their 10th, or their 1st.

So here’s to you, friends. Those of you that catch yourselves poking at the newly found wrinkles on your face each morning while you ready yourself for the day. For the ones that sigh when you stare at yourself while brushing your teeth and think “Who in the HELL is this old codger staring back at me?!” I’m with you, and I feel your pain.

But let’s take it in stride, let’s appreciate our scars and wrinkles as simply battle wounds dished out by LIFE, and let’s give thanks that…so far…we have survived the war.

Welcome to September. It’s not any cooler, but it’s going to be soon. May we turn the page to a new season, EXPLORE our lives, and give thanks that we are here to see a new chapter unfold.

Smiling,

Art Of – Protection

History – Gone, But Not Forgotten

Spiritual – Hell

Drive With Steve Tye

Featured Articles

Art Of – Protection

History – Gone, But Not Forgotten

Spiritual – Hell

From the Publisher – September 2017

Publisher’s Letter – August 2017

Chronicles – Chairs

Spiritual – April 2017

Art of Transition – Hunter Beaton

Spiritual – March 2017

Publisher’s Letter – March 2017

Save the Cibolo!

Boerne Professional Artists

Outdoors – Blood

Spiritual – Save Me From Me

Ask Old Timer

Spiritual – Jan 17 – Finding God

Spiritual – Dec 2016

Old Timer – Dec 2016

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