EXPLORE magazine

Featured Articles

ART OF – Cary Hamer –…

admin

August 4, 2019

ART OF Cary Hamer, owner of Inferno’s Wood Fired Pizza in Boerne is no rookie when it comes to restaurant…

Badass of the Month – August…

admin

August 4, 2019

The most feared badass of the Civil War was Bloody Bill Anderson. His real name, William T. Anderson wasn’t nearly…

Old Timer – August 2019

admin

August 4, 2019

Mobility. Traffic. God-forsaken stupid endless construction. A sea of red brake lights. All in little ol’ Boerne. Pull up a…

Gary Loper Music – August 2019

There are a lot of people that “play music,” but only a small percentage of them that a learned-ear would define as seasoned. Perhaps they’re just beginning their own musical journey, or they become one of the many that give it up before their ability has the chance to grow and mature. For many, they…

From The Publisher – July 2019

Dearest EXPLORE Reader, Sometimes I think that I’m going to sell all my stuff and move to Puerto Vallarta. Yes, I’m kidding…but no, I’m not. I have actually sat down and scouted out available beachfront condos, investigated employment opportunities for tall gringos that can’t speak Spanish, and tried to understand immigration issues. When I do…

The Impending Storm

Austin Siemering, founder of the San Antonio Express News, wrote of the years and months leading up to the US Civil War in the German-Texas hill country, that “an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty started creeping on all who opposed slavery, like the feeling preceding a thunderstorm of the worst kind.” You know that part of…

I’ve Seen It All

Dear Sam, I freaking hate going to church because they’re all a bunch of hypocritical pricks. Talk to me. – Signed, almost everybody I meet who knows I went to seminary As they trained me to say when I started raising money for charities, “I agree, I understand.” You always start from a place of…

From The Publisher – June 2019

Dearest EXPLORE Reader, I’ve been fully self-employed now since 2003. No safety net. No side-hustle. No every-other-Friday paycheck. Just a laptop and some hard work that has managed to keep a roof over my head for a whopping 16 years now. I remember when I started that I wasn’t really too worried about things. I…

Civil – Part 2

Last month I left you readers teetering on the edge of civil war, and I apologize for any jitters my dirty trick may have caused in your lives as you’ve waited on tenterhooks to find out if the war really happened, or if cooler heads prevailed and they managed to avoid the whole thing. (Tenterhooks…

Badass of the Month

Think you know William Barrett Travis? Think again. Born in Sparta, Alabama in 1809, Travis was a badass from the get-go as he joined the Alabama Militia while somehow working as a lawyer, teacher and newspaper editor as well. When he was nineteen, the young officer married a 16 year-old student of his (scandalous), but…

From The Publisher – May 2019

Dearest EXPLORE Reader, I’m particularly frustrated tonight with this little letter. I’ve talked about it a few times on this page, but the act of writing can be a real struggle when you literally have no confines as it relates to the subject matter. Writing an article about ANYTHING is not easy to do because…

Angels All Around Us

Psalm 91:11 “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways” If you have lived in Boerne for a good amount of time, you have more than likely heard of the military ministry, Angels All Around You. They are a Christian based ministry that focuses on helping out our…

Old Timer

I catch a lot of crap for this column. Because I have an opinion, I instantly irritate some portion of the population no matter what I have to say. That doesn’t bug me much (at all), but I feel I could be doing better at irritating a greater number of people with each column. So…

From The Publisher

Much like you, I look at pictures of myself frequently and grimace. The scars. The wrinkles. The shadows. The greying hair. I’ve got my battle wounds and until you stop and look at them (via pictures), you don’t really remember that they’re there. My Publisher photos don’t help. High-quality, highly detailed pictures of myself that…

Nothing Is Permanent But Change

I’ve just finished a lovely version of this (what I think is a) fascinating story, and alas, when I read it back over I found that it was about as dry as a mouthful of cinnamon and not nearly as exciting. Scholarly tome, I’ve realized, isn’t really my forte, and besides, it read like an…

Music – Jessa Rew

Jessa Rew’s confidence and grace comes across right away—whether talking to her over a cup of coffee or watching her share her songs from the stage. Jessa grew up on a 4,000 acre ranch in Pendleton, Oregon. Most of her early childhood was spent in the outdoors with her horses, enjoying the family’s beautiful piece…

Old Timer

We have a new Mayor this month. We really, really needed a new mayor 4 years ago, but it is what it is. I don’t know our new Mayor Handren personally, but from what I have heard and seen, he seems like he’ll do great job. His resume is impressive, and big companies have hired…

From The Publisher – March 2019

Dearest EXPLORE Reader, Back in 2012, in the frigid waters off the Italian coastline, the Costa Concordia cruise ship that was carrying almost 3500 people hit a reef, almost sunk, and thirty-two people were killed. The boat’s captain, Francesco Schettino, quickly became the culprit blamed for the tragedy. The tragedy was on the news around…

Publisher’s Letter – August 2019

admin

August 4, 2019

Dearest EXPLORE reader,

Sometimes I wonder about the answer to a most simple question: When will I get it ALL right?

I have learned that after you are done making a myriad of poor decisions and sending your life off in some wild directions, you will take a moment to sit down and say to yourself, “Um, you’ve clearly got some issues to work through.” After taking jobs you shouldn’t, and career paths you’re not suited for, and having major relationships go sideways and a whole slew of other things that can happen to a person, many people will stare at their cup of coffee and think “Maybe the root of my issues is between my own two ears.” Sure, a lot of people can just blame things on bad timing, bad advice, bad spouses, and bad bosses…but I think that many of us ultimately have to sit down and come to grips with the fact that the only common denominator in those situations is: YOU.

So like many of you, we head to Amazon and type in “How to stop being selfish” or “How to control your own destiny” or “Why you make bad decisions” and you are presented with an almost endless offering of books covering every topic imaginable. How to fix broken relationships, how to set boundaries, how to handle emotions better, how to be a leader, how to follow better, how to chase your dreams, how to be satisfied with where you are…there’s a book for everyone.

Which means that there are a lot of people trying to “figure themselves out.”

Want to know what they should teach in college instead of Philosophy or 18^th Century Literature? They should take those same students and get them to sign up for a variety of courses that could really have a positive impact on kid’s lives:

How to Choose a Spouse 101

Ways to Cope with Stress 301

Why Money doesn’t Matter Much 802

What’s Really Important in Life 401

How to Take Responsibility for your Stupid Decisions – Semester 1

…and on and on.

But we don’t. I know that it is our parent’s responsibilities to teach kids life’s biggest lessons, but as a parent myself, I can’t even imagine all the ways that I have failed my kids. Yes, I’ve done my best, but there’s no way my kids know a fraction of what they’ll need to know before they go off and make some gargantuan stupid decisions. Just like their dad did.

I have a theory that the Mid-Life Crisis isn’t just a bad joke about balding men who buy corvettes and chase 20 year old women. Yeah, that happens…but I truly think that it’s a season where men (and women) realize that they don’t know a damn thing about anything. They find themselves in their mid-40s (typically) and they gasp in horror when they realize that they are in jobs they don’t like, with marriages that are soulless, and they have a really good golf drive, but dammit, they are tired of trying to make everyone happy only to find themselves miserable inside. So they lash out in the only ways they can to try to turn back the clock and rediscover their youth and perhaps reset the clock in some way. I’m not defending these situations – just saying that I can empathize with it.

No, I’m not corvette shopping. That’s not my point. But here are a few things that I have personally heard spoken by my friends in the past month (most of them in my age bracket – 40s):

“I’m just not happy.”
“I am trying to control too much.”

“I’m terrified of failing.”

“I have so many hang-ups.”

“I just don’t care about those things any more.”

“I married the wrong person.”

“I’m not getting any younger.”

“When will I just be happy?”

And so each of them has struck off on a journey of self-exploration and understanding so that they can hopefully understand their situation better, make some decisions, and finally, finally, FINALLY find the peace that they seek. Maybe they’ll use Amazon Books, maybe they’ll just pray a lot, maybe they’ll buy a Corvette and chase a 20 year old blonde. I am not sure, but they are all clearly at points of “Something has to change” and so they are seeking that change.

What I suppose I wonder is: Do we ever figure it out?

I watched a show a few weeks ago about some mythical time where a computer picks who we date. You are with this person until the computer tells you to break up with them, and you do so because the computer has told the population that it will ultimately spit out the PERFECT mate for you. So people go through these endless relationships, and finally the computer says “Here’s the perfect match.” The problem is that what the characters learn is that a previous person was actually the perfect relationship…but people got so tired of the game, they would accept who the computer picked just to make it stop.

If we endlessly chase self-perfection, do we actually find it or do we just finally settle for who and what we are? Do we improve ourselves with amazing effort, or do we just find someone that will accept us, warts and all?

I’m guilty of the book reading. I have lots of them. I can read chapters of some of them and think “Oh man – they just described me PERFECTLY!” and I’m aware of the situation and issue and I agree with it and I know I should change some things – but do I? Maybe a little. Maybe I can see things more clearly, but I certainly can’t read a book, slam it shut and exclaim: “Whew!! Glad that problem is behind me!”

Nope. I have to wake up and think about it and remain aware of the issue and when confronted with a situation that involves the issue, I have to try to handle it in the most healthy way possible, due to my new book knowledge bestowed upon me by Amazon. But I surely fail, time and again.

We all know the saying “I wish I knew then what I know now” and maybe that’s the only thing we can really tell ourselves. I know that if I was magically transported back to being 22, my life would look COMPLETELY different today. I could have avoided some dumb situations, and I would have made some far smarter decisions, but alas, that’s not real life.

However, those lessons and that knowledge I possess isn’t because of things I read – it’s because LIFE taught me things. I had to go through it in order to learn. So on a sleepy Sunday afternoon as I’m typing this, I have to wonder: perhaps the single most powerful question you can ask yourself is: what do you think that YOU would say to yourself 20 years from now?

Should you stay in the crummy job? Struggle with the marriage some more? Keep the same friends? Live in the same town? Talk to your kids the same way? Keep the grudge with your parents? Put up with your asshole boss?

The stumbling we do early on in life is due to lack of knowledge and life experience. We regret those things in mid-life and facepalm at our poor habits and decisions we have formed. Yet we are still learning and there are still experiences that will shape us. And 20 years from now, we will face-palm at the things we are doing right now. Books and self-improvement can assist you with clarity and putting explanations to things we feel and struggle through, but at the end of the day, we are left to simply do the best we can…for right now.

I’m not sure about you, but 20 years ago seems like about 10 minutes ago. I was 23 and I pretty much knew everything there was to know. I blinked my eyes and it’s 20 years later and I realize that I didn’t know a damn thing. I know that I should have sought more info, asked for good advice, researched more, forecasted better…but instead I just took the path of least resistance and continued my journey.

Since 20 years flew by, I trust that the next 20 will do the same and then I’ll be in my mid-60s. If I apply the same thinking, am I actually learning or am I just bumbling along trying not to rock the boat too much and just keep the wheels on the ground?

As I always say in this letter, I rarely have answers to the questions I pose. I just see so many people that are so busy kicking themselves for past decisions, even though those decisions were based on the best information that they had at the time. Sure, some were flat out stupid decisions and had consequences, but even stupid decisions can have the hope that they turn out ok.

Maybe, just maybe…we’re all just out there doing the best that we can with the limited info that we have. I wonder how our lives might change if we accepted ourselves a bit more, warts and all, and give the same grace to ourselves that we try to give others. But I do know that you have things that you know you should change right this instant and that YOU in 20 years would wish that you had done so.

Live the dream people. Sometimes it may be a nightmare, but it’s your dream and it’s the only one you’re going to get. Love yourself because somebody does, and strike out on those adventures your heart yearns for. Smile, laugh, cry…and pack those experiences into what time God has decided to give us.

You’ll thank yourself in 20 years.

Welcome to August. May you take some time this sun-baked month and just inventory your blessings, EXPLORE your past, and dream of your future. Then make it exactly the way you’d like to read about it in a book.

Smiling,

ART OF – Cary Hamer – Inferno’s Wood Fired Pizza

Badass of the Month – August 2019

Old Timer – August 2019

Problem of Pain

Featured Articles

ART OF – Cary Hamer –…

Badass of the Month – August…

Old Timer – August 2019

Gary Loper Music – August 2019

From The Publisher – July 2019

The Impending Storm

I’ve Seen It All

From The Publisher – June 2019

Civil – Part 2

Badass of the Month

From The Publisher – May 2019

Angels All Around Us

Old Timer

From The Publisher

Nothing Is Permanent But Change

Music – Jessa Rew

Old Timer

From The Publisher – March 2019

Contact Us