Old Timer


I am pleased and welcome our new BBQ Overlords. My only complaint is the location at Cascade Caverns/I-10. Could there be a worse light in town? Back in my day, there was no light; only a stop sign. And you know what? We all got through it pretty painlessly. TxDot showed up, and in their overwhelming intelligence, installed 18 traffic lights there. Now, it’s backed up a quarter mile every morning. At least I can eat a $3 BBQ sandwich while waiting for that stupid light.

Hey Old Timer, who do you have in the Commissioner’s Court elections?
As soon as you can tell me what the hell a “Commissioner” does, I’ll let you know who I’m voting for.

Man, that was one mean winter, Old Timer. How are you faring?
Pfffft. I remember the Winter of ’38. Now THAT was a mean winter. The whole damn town froze solid, for what felt like weeks. It was cold as hell, but you know what? We all went to work. Schools were open. Life carried on. What the hell is up with that nowadays? As soon as temps hit 29, the schools lock down, 18 people die, and the entire state ceases operations. C’mon people, suck it up.

Old Timer, seriously. What the heck is up with the bridge? How can it not be done yet?
That stupid project has now hit the comical stage of governmental affairs. Wasn’t it supposed to be done in August? I challenge anyone to even explain what work they have actually completed to improve the bridge. You know, to “improve” the perfectly fine, operational, functional bridge that didn’t need anything done to it in the first place. You know, I’m pissed at you for even bringing up the bridge project. It raises my blood pressure. I mean, if I’m one day late on paying my electric bill, I’m fined. The city blows their construction timeline by 7 freaking months, and nobody cares. And don’t you know that when it’s done the Mayor will go and hold a press conference and talk about this fantastic project and how pleased they are with it. Ugh. And my electric bill….still making me pay it through that damned plate of glass. That stupid glass gives me nightmares. I swear I’ve been tempted to go there and just smash them with a hammer, but I know I’d be labeled a terrorist. But man, it sure would feel good. Don’t ever talk to me about the bridge again. My heart can’t take it. Or that damned glass. Pissing me off.

Old Timer, any great summer plans for you?
I’m taking a class on oil painting this summer. I like to paint. Don’t judge me.

Hey man – are you on Facebook or Twitter? I’d love to see your interactions online.
I know 7 people, and we all have coffee on Tuesdays at Riverside. We sit down, sip coffee, and talk. Face to face. With our voices. This is how humans were designed to share their lives. There’s not enough that happens to me in a day that is even worth sharing. That’s why we get together once a week. By then, something new might have happened. How people can go online and share that their toothbrush is broken, and then talk about their lunch plans, and conclude their day with photos of their dinner is simply ridiculous. You would be highly disappointed with my Facebook posts if I was even on there. And I’m not sure I’d like to know someone that was a Twitter user. Sounds dangerous.


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