Old Timer Predicts 2020

Your favorite Grandpa Old Timer is back, whiskey proudly sitting at the corner of my desk, with another rendition of OLD TIMER’S PREDICTIONS!

These are always so fun for me, and let’s face it, they turn out overwhelmingly accurate. I mean, did I predict that Taj-Mah-City Hall would tower ominously over Main Street? Of course I did. And the boondoggle known as 46? Yup, that too.

But let’s waste no time – here we go:

 

 

 

 


JANUARY

Security hut at Boerne Lake vandalized.

New stoplights installed at every cross street on Main. Requires 27 minutes to go from the Fire Department to Walgreens.

YMCA announces new pool plans.

 

 

 

 


FEBRUARY

Land clearing begins for KB homesites at the Lake. Citizens protest. Bald eagle watches proudly.

Buc-ee’s calls off plans for new gas station in Boerne. Cites frustrations with TxDot.

True to form, the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre bike rally brings freezing temps and rare snowstorm.

 

 

 

 


MARCH

USAA satellite bank announced for Bergheim so rich people can have close access.

City sets up parking meters for Main Street.

Mass death of ducks at River Rd via poisoning. Old Timer inconsolable.

 

 

 

 


APRIL

Bumper crop of bluebonnets brings record breaking tourism. 3 people injured as they fight for photo space beside skate park.

Mayor Handren announces new initiative – “Time with Tim” – he hangs out at Dodging Duck every Tuesday at 4pm to drink beer and chat with residents. Old Timer seen watching suspiciously from the patio.

 

 

 

 


MAY

Semi truck crashes into bridge supports at 46/10 bridge. TxDot announces plans to re-do the entire bridge (again) due to damage.

BISD awarded “Fastest Growing ISD in the Country” award.

KB filmed dumping trash into the lake. KENS5 does a story. Ron Bowman says KB is salt of the earth and would never do such a thing.

 

 

 

 


JUNE

Record flooding. Cibolo jumps the banks. New Fralo’s location completely destroyed.

17 Herff heavily damaged from flooding. Developer seen pointing for where to pour new concrete to control the river. CNC folks seen laughing and laughing.

700 acre ranch on 46E is sold. New Centex development announced. 2700 houses.

 

 

 

 


JULY

Ron Bowman retires early.

Cibolo Nature Center bans professional photographers due to trash/traffic. Weekend traffic drops 93%.

Bill Miller’s BBQ opens at Boerne Stage Rd. Line wraps around the building as citizens complain about chain restaurants opening too frequently in town.

Comfort’s population explodes as residents flee congestion in Boerne.

 

 

 

 


AUGUST

Wal-Mart announces new location in Comfort.

Mayor Handren seeks light rail project from Boerne to the Pearl.

2nd HEB location announced just past Esperanza.

 

 

 

 


SEPTEMBER

Record breaking heat hits the Hill Country. Temps top 105.

New City Manager is hired. Negotiates same salary package as predecessor. Highest paid City Manager in Texas.

Boerne art scene is covered by Texas Monthly – 3 new art galleries open.

 

 

 

 


OCTOBER

After heat from the summer, random cold front smashes records. Cibolo freezes over. Volunteers set up heat lamps for ducks.

Construction on bridge at 46 complete. TxDot announces plans to expand the bridge, resulting in 4 more years of construction.

3rd high school announced. Stan Leech High School. Location is on 1376 near 1910 Church.

 

 

 

 


NOVEMBER

Black Friday breaks records in Boerne. For shoplifting.

Fire at new City Hall. Attributed to weird wiring issue in Mayor’s office. Handren moves his office to the lobby and greets every visitor.

Chamber relocates to the old CVB building. Coffee shop opens in the Chamber’s spot on Main Street, giving tourists 3 coffee shop locations within 20 feet of one another.

 

 

 

 


DECEMBER

Dickens plunged into chaos when large street fight breaks out. Off duty SAPD cops required to keep peace due to crowd sizes.

City Manager resigns abruptly. Cites lack of affordable housing.

KB caught pumping water from the Lake for lawn-watering. No City Manager available to defend them.

Kendall County recognized as the fastest growing county in the US. Comfort doubles in size in previous 12 months.

There ya have it. Tear this out and put it on your fridge so that you can refer to the things that surely will be happening in our fair city in 2020. While I trust that many of these things really will happen, I also hope that many do not. Except for that one about the ducks dying off – this crochety old man had NOTHING to do with the poisoning, no matter what you might hear.



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