Old Timer – April 2020


Well, March was pretty interesting, wasn’t it?

I’m in what you’d call a “vulnerable demographic” as an old codger, so my front porch and I have gotten to know each other quite well this past month. It’s been lonelier than I’d like to admit, but my evening whiskeys on the porch have taken on a quiet isolation type of vibe.

I’m sure you are feeling similar. Being cooped up in our homes (by legal decree) is not how America works, and I’m not going to question the decisions being made, but I am sure many of you will agree that it’s unpleasant. When does it end? At the time of my writing, nobody knows. Maybe by the time you get to this, there are some answers, but for today, this is called “a holding pattern”.

Which really sucks because today is beautiful. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, my little window unit AC is purring, and I’ve got some light classical music playing.

I miss BOERNE already.

I miss getting to go down to the Boerne Grill and getting coffee with my old timer friends.

I miss shaking my head at all the silly tourists that line out the front door of the Bear Moon clamoring for their bear claw.

I miss driving past City Hall and shouting “Hey $chultz! YOU SUCK!” and shaking my fist at it every time I see that stupid thing. Man, my blood pressure rises just thinking about that behemoth.

I miss having a drink at Salvador Dobbs and trying to flirt with all the bartenders. I’m no good at it any more, but it does make my heart happy when they smile back at me.

I miss walking along the River and trying to kick a duck.

I miss listening to our County Commissioners talk about “The Gateway Loop” and then say that they’re really not talking about “The Gateway Loop”.

I miss watching the zillion middle school kids crossing over to the Library every day after school. Flirting with one another and laughing in the sun.

I miss listening to the live music coming from the Dodging Duck and Dobbs on a weekend night. It’s faint, but it makes the area sound so “lively” when it mixes with a cool evening.

I miss laughing every time one of our local politicians suggests “MORE CROSSWALKS!” when talking about our Frogger-esque Main Street area.

I miss the Movie in the Park thing that the City does during the summers. We better enjoy those this summer. That’s as old fashioned and fun as it can be.

I miss a good old fashioned gulley-washer of a rain system. One that pours the water over the dam. One that I can watch on the back patio of Little Gretel while I sip some weird German beer. Those make for some great nights.

I miss watching replays of our City Council meetings. For a variety of reasons.

I miss going by Klein’s Smokehaus for a fat stack and chatting with the butcher.

I miss walking through the Hot Rod Show at Soda Pops and running my hand along the bumpers of some beautiful old cars while listening to music and sipping a Coors.

I miss my wife and sitting with her on the porch swings at the Ye Kendall Inn on summer nights and watching the fire flies across the Town Square.

I miss the Calamari at Cypress Grille. I know they make lots of great food, but man, their calamari is the bee’s knees.

I miss going to the Boerne Lake and skinny dipping. I did that more than once. I don’t think you can do that any more cause of the stupid security hut. I’m going to put in my will that I will pay the entrance fees for every Kendall County resident to use the lake. Use it till the money runs out so that they could tear down that stupid little security hut.

Ok, I’ll stop. I clearly am not happy with this little “forced pause” in our collective lives. I’m sure you’re not thrilled either. I also am not in the mood to bitch this month about my many good reasons to bitch because, hell, we all have good reasons to bitch this month.

So let’s do this:

make your own list of things you miss about your hometown. Appreciate them and remind yourself that you’ll get back to them shortly.

Pick 3 small businesses that you enjoy. Promise yourself that as soon as this is over, you’re going to run in there and spend a little coin. Trust me, those guys are going to need you badly.

Hug on your kids and family and make the most of this. Check on your old friends like me. And enjoy a whiskey on the front porch and ponder deep subjects. That free time for simply thinking will be over very soon.

Hang in there.